So I've had a bad couple of days food wise. And haven't weighed myself so I'm not looking forward to the scales at the moment. Have to be good for the rest of the weekend and hopefully it will be a good number of Monday.
I saw my shrink Thursday morning. I see him for severe depression, which is under control. But my weight has never been an issue we discussed. It came up briefly with my last shrink (before I moved) and that was because I was putting on a lot after going on a new drug.
I feel so fucked up at the moment, and yet I must be one of his 'easiest' patients. I go in with a "happy face" say everything is going well, he gives me a new prescription and I'm out in 5minutes. He wants me to participate in an experiment though, I need to have a blood test to see how much of an enzyme or something I have, which apparently will show how fast I metabolise anti-depressants. Anyway, slightly concerned because I take a lot of caffeine based diet pills - funnily enough not for weight loss - I was taking them regularly at my heaviest, but just to give me energy. Got quite sick years ago, I think with chronic fatigure syndrome, and even though I'm "better" I still sleep more than most people would consider normal I guess. Anyway, now I've been taking these pills for so long I crash when I stop taking them. I'm babbling. The point is I don't know whehter they will have an effect on my blood test.
I've been watching videos on youtube - a lot of which are meant to be recovery videos - but I watch them to hopefully be triggered into not eating.
one thing is certain - this is already starting to control my life, which kind of sucks, because the amount of work and study I have I need to focus on those.