Eating lollies without worrying how many calories I'm consuming
Eating a meal without wondering if I can purge afterwards
Smiling for a photo without thinking how fat I will look
Putting on an outfit without scruitnising myself in the mirror
Mum being able to make everything better with a hug and a kiss
I miss ... Being Happy
I wrote this this afternoon (I've had a bad day in case you couldn't tell), but I'm not sure if the last line is true. I'm not sure if I've ever been happy. I look at photos when I was younger and I certainly look happy, but I can't remember the last time I was "happy". I've been on anti-depressants since I was 14, they have had times of working and times of not working, but even when they have been working I don't think I've been happy - they just meant I haven't been suicidally depressed.